Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
