he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
