I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
