He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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