hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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