I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
