Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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