Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
