dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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