why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you didnt know i had herpes?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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