So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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