So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
