thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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