As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
