when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
