Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
