If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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