U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
