Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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