so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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