How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize