Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
