So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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