We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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