What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
