Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
