i think i have herpe
just one?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
