My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
