why do cheetos always look like penises
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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