You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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