Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize