How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
