she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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