these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
