I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
