people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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