Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize