Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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