My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
