I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
