Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
