I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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