Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
