i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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