I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
