I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
