This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
