i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize