Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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