i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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