True but thats because hes a fetus.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
