You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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