before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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