Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
