the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
