Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
