You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
