I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
