I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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