She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
