She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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