I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
