bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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