By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
